What It’s Like

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“I’m trying to go back to college. We took a class trip to the museum recently for my Italian history class. Everyone else in my class is 19 or 20. I felt a little weird.”

Posted by Humans of New York on Saturday, May 9, 2015

Laughing because this is spot on. Sometimes it is so awkward. Once or twice on a field trip – I confess – I have carried myself as if I were the professor.

My first semester, English 101, we had a bonding activity at the ropes course. We were put in front of a 12 foot wall, and told to help each other over it – without talking.

I tore my left hamstring.

Two Powerful Reflections

 

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Questions for the Woman I Was Last Night

by Warsan Shire

https://soundcloud.com/chrstn/questions-for-the-woman-i-was

How far have you walked for men who’ve never held your feet in their laps?
How often have you bartered with bone, only to sell yourself short?
Why do you find the unavailable so alluring?
Where did it begin, what went wrong, and who made you feel so worthless?
If they wanted you, wouldn’t they have chosen you?
All this time, you were begging for love silently, thinking they couldn’t hear you, but they smelt it on you; you must have known that they could taste the desperate on your skin?
And what about the others that would do anything for you—why did you make them love you until you could not stand it?
How are you both of these women, both flighty and needful?
Where did you learn this: to want what does not want you?
Where did you learn this: to leave those that want to stay?

For women who are difficult to love

by Warsan Shire

you are a horse running alone
and he tries to tame you
compares you to an impossible highway
to a burning house
says you are blinding him
that he could never leave you
forget you
want anything but you
you dizzy him, you are unbearable
every woman before or after you
is doused in your name
you fill his mouth
his teeth ache with memory of taste
his body just a long shadow seeking yours
but you are always too intense
frightening in the way you want him
unashamed and sacrificial
he tells you that no man can live up to the one who
lives in your head
and you tried to change didn’t you?
closed your mouth more
tried to be softer
prettier
less volatile, less awake
but even when sleeping you could feel
him travelling away from you in his dreams
so what did you want to do love
split his head open?
you can’t make homes out of human beings
someone should have already told you that
and if he wants to leave
then let him leave
you are terrifying
and strange and beautiful
something not everyone knows how to love.

Just a Mom Bragging About Her Kiddo

My daughter Jourdan models for MSA in New York City as a Curve and Fit Model. Yesterday she and several other beauties were featured on Entertainment Tonight on ABC. You can view the segment at 16:33.

I’m absolutely bursting with pride! Jourdan is the blond with her long hair down,  shown in a pink set of lingerie, and wearing pink headpiece by EllenChristine.

Not only is she beautiful; she’s smart. She graduates in May from John Jay College of Criminal Justice with a degree in Anthropology –  grad school in the works.

She is even more beautiful on the inside than she is on the outside. And ultimately, that’s where my pride in her begins.

Stuff I’ve Learnt

I’ve learnt that…

  • you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
  • no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.
  • it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
  • it’s not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.
  • you can do something in an instant that will give you a heartache for life.
  • no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.
  • you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
  • we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
  • there are people who love you dearly, but just don’t know how to show it.
  • true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
  • just because someone doesn’tlove you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
  • maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.
  • no matter how good a friend someone is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
  • no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.
  • just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other.And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.
  • we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
  • you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
  • there are many ways of falling and staying in love.
  • no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.
  • the people you care most about in life are taken from you to soon.
  • although the word “love” can have many different meanings, it loses value when overly used.
  • love is not for me to keep, but to pass on to the next person I see.
  • there are people who love you dearly but just don’t know how to show it.
  • even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.
  • every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch-holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
  • I still have a lot to learn……

– Anonymous